Ravelry

I didn't understand the draw of Ravelry. Now that I'm a member, I understand completely--well, at least better than I did several days ago.

The consummate center for bending the credit card for women who knit and crochet. If you are already at the top of your credit line, do NOT sign up for this....warning, warning, danger Will Robison...and I mean that with capital letters.

Now if you are able to control your urges and just look at people's creations without succumbing to the "where DID you find that pattern?" mentality, then this is the place for you. EYE CANDY lurks in every corner. A woman who knits can spend an entire WEEK shopping (can you say "shop til you drop?")...not only that, but the user can upload pictures (albeit the manner of upload is somewhat tedious--you have to upload to flickr.com, then TRANSFER the pictures to Ravelry...Flickr.com charges a fee if you go over their maximum allowance for uploads, so if you have a VERY large stash, with a large # of patterns, you might want to keep track of your stash and patterns on your own hard drives or cds instead..a rewritable cd and cd writer required.) of their stash and patterns, projects you're working on and those in the queque, track your needles and chat with other knitters/crafters or email them through the use of forums--rather than through yahoo groups. All in all, the be all and end all center for the knitter/crocheter.

Somewhere in the middle of my fun with this website, windows upload downloaded an update to my pc for my video display, and perhaps something else, because it totally ruined my experience with the forums, and with viewing pictures--or it could have been an upgrade to my accellerator, which lowers resolution of pictures to make websites load faster. One or the othere is responsible, but I am not sure yet--because by the time I finished finaggling with the computer, the day was over, I ached in every bone in my body from sitting at the pc all day, and fell fast asleep in my chair, having done NO KNITTING WHATSOEVER ON A DAY WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN!

Thanks a lot Ravelry.

So today, I am going to force myself to stay away from Ravelry, and save the rest of my stash/project lists and queque entry for another weekend. I'm tired, and need rest...so imagine my surprise when I pulled the 4 of Swords. A picture of an effigy with 4 swords--3 on the base of the effigy and one hanging in the tree nearby. The meaning of the card is clear--GET SOME REST! So, even though I'm taking some time out to post here, I am later going to my in-laws for lunch. I get my best naps when I drive!

The mittens are coming along. I finally started on the second mitt, and it's now about half done. I should be able to finish the hand part today. Then I will work on the thumbs...then on the gauntlet. I have some very specific ideas on how I'm going to finish them off now, and I'm beginning to get excited about the prospect of finishing them.

I also drew out the Sharon Miller Princess Shawl that has been languishing as a WIP in my knitting closet for about 2 years now..I have perhaps 30 more points to go on the border, and I can start on the body of the shawl. This particular shawl is one of my more intense projects, and the border is no exception--made in fine THREAD, rather than yarn, the knitting of it is not what I call relaxing, but the OUTCOME is worth it, because the lace is just beautiful! I'm knitting it on size 1 circular inox needles--nice pointy needles, with only a bit of drag--and since they are circular, the weight of the project is in my lap, rather than on my hands/wrists. The project is posted to my project list on Ravelry. I have no idea if the general public can view my notebook, but if you can, my screen name is drapert.

In the meantime, enjoy your day, and I will post more later when I get home if I am not too late.

SciFi and UFOs

Okay, so it's not about UFO's--have I seen one? Maybe. Don't know. If I claim it's a UFO, then it's no longer a UFO--am I right? After all, I've identified it as a UFO...so now it's an IUFO, which is rather a contradiction in terms.

Sort of like the term infinity plus one.

The Tarot Card for the day is the 8 of Swords Reversed. Titled Bondage by the Sacred circle, Robin Wood shows a woman, wrapped up in a sheet, tied and blindfolded on a rocky beach, with 8 swords plunged into the earth behind her. Upright, not a very good card--meaning that you're basically "hemmed in" on all sides and won't be able to make any advancements today--however in reversed orientation, it means that the issues that were causing you to feel "hemmed in" are going to lift a bit today...and let's face it, IT'S FRIDAY!!!!

A rather simplistic reading, but I do look forward to Friday, and to the END of Friday, when I can look into the weekend and figure out what I want to do, instead of what everyone else wants me to do.

I got invited to Ravelry today. So I now have to sign up for a Flickr Account, as I didn't have one before. This blogging/ravelry/working on the band website/trying to get to my own website on geocities...is creating a web miasma for me...so I feel like I am surrounded on all sides by web-hosts and rather becoming my own little promoter. I don't know if I like that or not.

Does this mean that if computers are destroyed, and all my information on the web is lost, that I will cease to be? OOOO. Now there's a sci-fi thriller for you. Maybe I'll have Sandra Bullock to play my part in the movie.

So..off to Flickr I must go. Too bad I can't just ftp stuff over there. FTP makes it much easier.

Okay, Flick Account signed in. Ravelry ID is drapert--I am all set to go! This weekend, I upload pictures of my stash and my projects!

I'm late, I'm late, for a very Important Date!

Remember the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland?

Well, now that you've got a picture of me (buck teeth and all)...yes, I'm running a tad late (huff..puff). So this will be quick and dirty.

I've got the dreaded Mitten disease. I haven't knit for at least 3 days--although I did ply my spinning. I also notice that I'm over-spinning sometimes, and the single is all kinked up. I'm going to have to treadle slower, or draft faster--one or the other.

I have to replace a drum head on my son's drum--and I have been sort of putting that off for another day--when? Perhaps tonight when I get home. It will take the better part of an evening, which means I won't be able to knit or spin tonight.

The Tarot Card for the day is the Chariot.
Usually, this card has something to do with cars...either buying a new one, or getting the old one fixed, and it's likely that I am going to get a call today about my car--I've got some repair work that's been waiting for the Body Shop Manager to get back from Medical leave. It could be just a reminder card for me to remember to call them. Either way, looks like I'll be taking my car in to get the body work done on it. It means I'll have to drive the loaner--yuck.

And I'm feeling a little like Alice's rabbit--stressed and on the run, also a chariot card expression...spinning your wheels and really getting nowhere. I've also got a dental appointment coming up later today, getting a tooth pulled (yuck again), and therefore may not feel like doing ANYTHING after work. We'll have to see.

So we'll see how the card ends up applying to me. It's pretty amazing. Yesterday, I pulled the sun card, and the day was beautiful, and I worked hard, got everything I wanted to do done, everything went bright and cheery, and it was just a happy day. And today, I draw the Chariot. It's just not fair.

The Ghost of Coffeemakers Past

Yesterday, our old coffeemaker was retired for the newer one with cool bells and whistles.

My husband said a few words, we unplugged the lifeline from the wall socket, and pushed it into the back corner. It will find its way to the garage sale bin today, I think. It's sad, though. The end of an era. The loss of a long-time friend, but it just wasn't doing the job anymore. It was tired and really old--and the water wasn't pouring through the filter very well anymore..not even with the cleaning solution! So the white Proctor Silex--and I don't believe they are made anymore, has been thrown over for a black Mr. Coffee with shiney silver chrome and a TIMER.

You heard that right. A timer! No more getting up with my husband at 4:30 in the morning to put coffee and water on--now I can do it the night before! And this new pup has an auto turn off for the two of us, who are horrible at remembering to shut it down. It has 2 brew strengths, regular and strong, because I am no lightweight when it comes to coffee. It has a cleaning feature and a "brew it now" feature and a pause feature, so you can get a cup without waiting for it to cycle.

I have to say, I'm in love. I called my husband into the kitchen to look at it when I attached it's umbilical cord to the wall....

"Darling, come here and look at the new coffeemaker!" I said.

After waiting patiently for five minutes, he appears in the doorway.

"What?" He says impatiently. "I'm watching my show...oh, new coffeemaker." He brightens a little, turns on his heels and heads back for his easy chair. My husband clearly doesn't understand the full impact of the moment! So I sigh, pat the new coffeemaker on the top of it's water reservoir, and walk over to my computer.

I can't wait to taste the new coffee I bought. Patience, dear, patience.

So this morning I am drinking a medium roast with caramel flavoring from Meijer's Thrifty Acres. I can't wait to get some hefty dark roast, and REALLY test this new contraption.

Did I knit last night? No. I have joined the league of web designers. Now, I know how to code in HTML, as long as there is something there initially--in reality, all you do is look for the real "words" and update them. I've offered to edit the Grand Rapids and District Pipe Band's website--and have updated the Member's Page and the Upcoming Events Page. It will be a while before I can get pictures to upload. And so I spent all day reconnoitering these two pages. The Member's Page was completly redone. She looks much cleaner now. The old editor, instead of using a table to enter information, used spaces--which works, but makes a mess of the html--all these ;ntsb's everywhere. I made a table and now the code looks a lot more readable, and the information is "up to the minute". Our next performances and practices, the where and when, are all loaded on the Upcoming Events page. Even a quick note about our 2008 Ceilidh, and a "Merry Christmas" at the bottom! Although, shouldn't it be Samhain? Whatever. The page looks good, the information is good, and I'm pleased.

The band manager wants a subpage with a login for the band members that has email address links that won't be available to the general public. Nice idea, but I have no idea how to set that up. So I have to speak with my "webpage gurus" to find out how that's done. I can build the form in visual basic, but the code behind it is beyond my understanding, and setting up the html behind that is even MORE beyond my understanding. I mean, I can link the button to the login form, but then once the user enters their information, the html has to know if that information is valid and what rights does that user have? Beyond that...do I even have a webpage guru? I'll have to think on that one.

The coffeemaker is empty and ready for tomorrow's brewing, and it's time for my shower!

Today's Tarot Card is the Sun. This means that the day will be bright and happy and everything will go well, right down to the last second. It means I slept really well last night (I did) and that there will be no problems. Basically, a sail right through it type of day.

I'll let you know, because I don't always trust these cards. HA!

A surprising shock of my life

Well, the shock has worn off a bit since yesterday---some anyway.

In my last post, I told you that I had band practice, and that it was very likely not going to go well and end up being my fault, and it was. It isn't that I wasn't right on the money with my drumming, because I was--I think we're finding out that the drumming setting that I chose for a certain particular tune just isn't a good FIT--it doesn't really "sound" like it goes with the tunes we're playing. So now, I have to come up with something new.

This happens after 2 years of play, when the setting seemed to go along just fine...now it's having tempo problems. Again, it could have just been the day.

But the shock came at the business meeting we had.

The Drum Sergeant chose me to be Drum Corporal. Now keep in mind that I was HOPING beyond hope for Drum Sergeant, but knew that didn't happen at the Annual General Meeting last week--and realized that the Pipe Major didn't pick me again this year--even though I'm the one taking care of the drums, writing down the settings for the drummers, teaching the new people AND just starting running the website. I'm in this thing up to my neck from a drumming aspect, and since that's the consumate position of the Drum Sergeant, I figure that I've been doing it I should own it. But alas, such was not to be.

Even so Drum Corporal never occurred to me because the DS is so much "friendlier" with one of the other drummers in the corps--so it shocked me when she picked me. Even so, I suppose that loyalties exist, whether there are positions or not, right?

And so, this effectively puts me in charge when the DS can't make it (say to practice or a performance), and I get a pair of STRIPES for my uniform. I'm tickled, but I seriously have this "low in my belly" need to be DS.

Now it's got nothing to do with being the center of attention. It has EVERYTHING to do with my ex-husband (oh here we go again). How you ask?

Well, after he left me and got kicked out of the band we were in, I worked my collective off trying to get DS in that band. They wouldn't let me--thinking that I'm a control freak...which is true, but not so much that I'm hard to get along with (only my son will tell you differently)--but the Pipe Major (PM) wouldn't give it to me. His excuse was that I had a weak left hand...which was true enough--so I worked my left hand control on my sticking for months, and he still wouldn't give it to me, so I finally left the band--I was, after all, leading 2 bands at the time, and working hard, spending twice the time and effort on middle and west side of Michigan--while the DS for the west side band rarely ever made it to practice--and so I was working with these guys basically for no compensation whatsoever. After while, it got to me, and I resigned.

A few years later, I decided that I wanted to get back into the band, but they were loathe to do that (for obvious reasons, since I had taught the current DS how and what to play)...plus they had enough drummers...oh, but the band on the west side of the state needs drummers--I don't think they have any at all.

And so I became a drummer for the Grand Rapids and District Pipe Band.

Now, all during this life travel of MINE, my ex moves to Kalamazoo, joins the Kalamazoo pipe band, tells them a boat-load of lies, about how he's been DS in 3 different bands, played competition with the Denver Police etc etc, when he was never even lead drummer!!! Well, they made him DS, and all the corps resigned. He ended up playing by himself. Eventually, the PM removed him from his office, and now they have a corps of drummers most of whom I would bet my last dollar, came BACK from resigning under my ex-husband's rule.

What have I learned from this?

That my ex was a pompous pile of sheep dip---which reallly gives sheep dip a bad name, and that he has only ever wanted to be the center of attention, and didn't care if he was the only drummer in the corps. He was DS!!! He finally had the stripes....but you know, what good does it do to be "in charge" if you've got nobody to be "in charge of"?

And so I want those stripes..I want to come by them honestly--to be deserving of them--and I work my off to make sure that I'm next in line to get em. I want to be able to shove them in my ex's face, and say "SEE? I EARNED THESE. Not because I lied my way into them, not because I needed them because I feel so inferior without them or because I want to be the center of attention, but because I earned them. I have been working for something like 20 years for them, and by golly, I've got them--so eat sheep dip and die!"

Somehow, just saying all that here, feels really good. It makes me think that by accomplishing this feat, I will somehow be able to extract my ex from my thoughts and my life for good and for good riddance. I will finally take back the joy that I once knew when he and I were together in the band. When I have those stripes, and he finds out about it, he will be jealous--because he knows that he got his dishonestly, and he lost the position because of that...and because he chased the rest of the drummers out so that he could be the only one. It might be something akin to "keeping up with the Jones family", but the feeling only occurs when I'm actually THINKING about it. The rest of the time, I really don't care so much--I care more about whether the band sounds good or not as a collective.

And that might be why the DS chose me for DC--it could also mean that she wants to keep me from screwing it all up chasing after my heart's desire, but I can't think about that right now. If I were REALLY PARANOID...I could think another way. But at the moment, I need to feel happy that I'm DC, pleased (but pressured) that somebody chose me to be Treasurer--even though I didn't get the job and didn't expect to...knowing that Ray nominated me for the position. He believes that "he who controls the checkbook has the power in the band..." My answer to that is that yes there are some bands like that, but GR&DPB isn't like that.

So all that said, I see myself working toward a goal--sometimes it seems more like a rainbow. The goal isn't just my own goal, but the goal of the band. If I can succeed in my own goals, can I bring the band's goals to fruition at the same time? I'm a talented person, but do I have what it takes to go the extra mile to WIN IT ALL? Or is it supposed to be enough to own the talent, to be confident in that talent, and make it go well enough to make it count. Should I even be putting that much pressure on myself...might I buckle under the strain? Do I have what it takes to be a leader?

Tough questions. For now, I have to change a drum head.

Sunday morning--awake and unaware

I am awake for the second time on Sunday morning. My first wake-up was at 1am, and I worked some more on my Latvian Mitten. I have finished the "hand", now have to work on the thumb and gusset--which isn't going to be easy, since I'm using Lion Brand "Woolease" and size 6 needles--I have to do some fiddling with the pattern, and will have to write it all down--and so I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to have to work the other "hand" first, and leave the thumbs for when I can concentrate better.

However, my second waking-up was at 7am, and now I'm pretty much ready to face the day. Funny how coffee can help with that, but it's true. Showing you what I worked on all day yesterday....

Yes, I got 3 rooms done! And then, I drove to McDonalds for lunch (yes, all that before lunch, and lest you think "ho ho ho, what is 3 rooms?", praps I should show you the BEFORE picture next time... The areas I show you above are the areas that get "dropped on"...the clutter catchers.

After McD's, drove to the video store to drop off the video...then to Lowe's to return some pvc pipe and fittings (yes, all that time, I was driving about with 2 16' lengths of pvc sticking out my back window!), then to Walmart for some staples for the staple gun and some drugs for my hubby, then to the LYS

HOLD IT...STOP RIGHT THERE.

I had a gift certificate. They had new sock yarn. I had to have some. I also wanted the book "Simply Shetland 4", because I want to make Eunny Jang's scoop neck sweater...decisions...decisions...okay, bought both.

Then I went to the health food store and got a couple of items, then I returned home and worked on my mitt.

So I didn't actually work as hard as I thought I would, or for as long, but I did get a LOT accomplished. I even finished the antique coat hanger/shelf that I got several months ago. I can't wait to put it on the wall!

Oh dear.

The coffeemaker is plugged again.

This is cause for ALARM. It took 20 minutes to brew this pot--when it should only take about 5 minutes. But the coffee IS made, and I can now enjoy my first morning cup of brew. Yum.

Do you notice how thoughts are pretty disjointed before my first cup?

Daily Tarot Card is the Page of Wands reversed. In it's upright position the card indicates that whatever you do today your effort will show great potential. But since it's reversed, you can almost bet that things aren't going to go so well in that respect--because today, I have band practice. Now lest you believe that I'm going to "self-fulfill" that prophecy, let me tell you that I do work very hard with this band--far more than I did with my previous band--and the idea that I might not be recognised for my effort is depressing.

Then again, it might not be me at all, but my son, who is still slightly "shakey", but is coming along. We couldn't have a practice this week because it's getting too cold to play outdoors--and he's got no "place" indoors where we can practice yet. Until he does, we can't practice mid-week. This could upset the apple cart easily.

But, sadly, I pull a clarification card to find out if it's me or if it's him, and it's me--I pull a queen--the queen of wands, to be precise, and she is also in reversed position...she stands for the crafty and sly--the revealer. She's reversed, so it means that I'll be pretty much useless today, and not much good will come of heading to band practice. Oh, this is really discouraging! I guess it's a good thing I have Monday off!

I've decided I'm going to buy a new coffeemaker--one that has a clock on it so that it will turn itself on at the appropriate hour--so that we can have fresh coffee every morning.

And it's misty outdoors again--perfect Scotland weather--except I live in the US. The dog refuses to go potty when the weather is the slightest bit wet. But let her run to the neighbor's house, and she's in their pond labrador-style! She's cold, and antsy to get back into the house where it's warm. She danced around in eager anticipation of getting back into bed with my husband.

The day progresses, and the first cup is nearly drained. What will I do this morning before Ray arrives, and we head to band practice? It's already 8am. I have only three hours before we leave. I'm tempted to cast on that second mitt--then again, no. I just don't feel much like knitting (or working for that matter). This is called One-Mitt-Disease. Sounds dreadful, doesn't it? I could go buy that new coffeemaker, but I seem to have no ambition this morning. In fact, I feel like I should go back to bed and pull the covers over my head for about 2 1/2 more hours. Yes, that's exactly how I feel--go join dog and husband. It would seem that they have more "smarts" than I do at the moment.

Cya!

Saturday Morning 6am

What in the world am I doing awake at this hour on a SATURDAY? You ask.

Enjoying a hot cup of chocolate flavored coffee, writing this stuff down, and thinking "can life get any better than this?"

I had this kink in my neck for two days. Yesterday, it was painful enough to give me a migraine. I decided to head to the chiropractor.

I know, I know, you shake your head and think, just take an aspirin--which I did--actually, I took 2 Advil at 10 and 2 Bayer Back N Body at 12. All it did was make me feel nauseaous. I slept most of the day on Thursday, unable to get rid of the kink OR the migraine. Yes, friends, my neck was severely out of alignment. But there are folks out there who don't believe in the benefit of chiropractic--and I am here to tell you, that this stuff works.

The chiro worked on my neck for about 5 minutes, and when I got up, I felt like a new woman. A new woman who didn't have a migraine anymore. There is still a little muscle stiffness, which is easily alleviated with Advil, but it's a muscle pain that I can live with--in short it isn't screwing up my face in agony--like it was on Friday. I feel like I can tackle this house with one hand tied behind my back...and I will forego the bondage part, just so I can get done quicker to work on my mittens.

They are coming along nicely. I worked on them while I visited with Judy Draper (aka mom Draper) during her dinner hour yesterday, and then worked on them some more when I got home while I watched "Ghost Whisperers". It has become somewhat of a "boring knit", even though it's a pattern I made up in my own head, and I'm sort of "winging it"--I think I'd rather be knitting some socks--or maybe even a sweater! But I'm pretty close to finishing the first one--I've only got 2" left--I figure I'll do one more pattern repeat, then I will begin my decreases. It took a lot less yarn than I thought it would--less even than a pair of SOCKS! And that's saying something--but I think I will be happy wearing them. The cuff is too short, so I'm going to make a gauntlet out of crochet--that will go under my coat sleeve. I was a little worried that they would be too small, but I tried them on, and they fit me like...well, like a glove--except for they are mittens. So that's the plan for later.

Hubby is going to assist his friend in selling the business he runs, so I will be pretty much on my own all day today--which means I should be able to get a lot accompished today. Ever notice how much more efficient you are when there's no one else underfoot? I used to tell my first husband to take the baby (who is almost 30 now), and go see his mother--so that I could clean house. I would do laundry, dishes, floors, dusting, clean the cat box, let the dog out, feed the animals, go buy groceries and have dinner on the stove by the time he got home about 6 hours later.

Of course, 30 years on a body slows it down some, but coffee helps!

Today's Tarot card is the 10 of wands, and this is the "work hard" card, but it's reversed, which means that I won't have to work nearly so hard to get so much done--or maybe that I won't work as hard as I THINK I will--or maybe I'll start and not "finish", but you know, my attitude is that housework is never really finished, so why TRY? I'm the consumate housework hater, anyway, and even though I'm now working on my second cup of coffee, I'm just not quite ready to begin. I like to save these things for times when I have a ton of ambition--today is just not it! I mean, I know that it has to be done, and I know that I will likely get quite a bit accomplished, but do I really want to waste my time that way?

But can you believe, that out of 72 cards--this is the one I would pull for my daily card, on a day that I generally reserve as a "work inside the house" day? Or that it would so closely approximate what the actual day will likely involve? I think it's just amazing. Maybe I should do Tarot readings on here...don't laugh--STOP LAUGHING! I have done long-distance reading before--read the blog entry on Robert! You know, there are people on the web who do this sort of thing for MONEY? Where's my crystal ball?

I look at my "ability" ("gift" if you prefer the word) as something to share--it came to me free--it's not something I went to school to learn--hence the word "gift"--therefore, I think it's something to be shared, not something someone should have to pay for--and I can't see myself making money off of it for just those reasons--I think that accepting money would somehow "cheapen" it--and therefore make it so that it didn't work the way it should...and that's why I call it an "ability"...much like walking, or even blinking. I don't "think" about it--very often, it just happens.

For instance, long ago, when I was a teenager (back when rocks were just on the cusp of invention), I read a book on the paranormal--so, when the sun set, and darkness fell in my room, I lit a candle, knelt beside my bed, shuffling an ordinary deck of 52 playing cards, and said to myself in my mind..

"I'm going to count 13 cards from the deck. I'm going to divine red or black, and put them in two piles, one for red, one for black, and then I'm going to record how many I get right."

So I count off 13 cards from the top of the shuffled deck. Now 13 is supposed to be somehow associated with the paranormal--but I didn't do 13 for that reason--the deck is normally 13 cards per suit--and I figured that this was a test of the entire deck, and so I began.

I went slowly, holding my hand over each card before placing it face down in the pile that I thought it should go into. When I was finished, I checked the piles. The red pile was 100% correct. The black pile had one red card in it. Well, alright. I recorded my results.

I decided to test myself further. With the remaining 39 cards...

"I'm going to count 13 cards from the deck. I'm going to divine Diamonds, Hearts, Clubs and Spades, and put them in four piles this time--"

I didn't do so well this time, and only got about half of the cards right--even so, by the paranormal "experts" 25% was considered above average--

I decided to test myself further. With the remaining 26 cards...

"I'm going to count 13 cards frm the deck. I'm going to divine the number on the card, and write it down on paper, then I will compare the cards to what I've written down."

I got them all wrong.

Actually, that's not a fair statement. I was just one card off. The FIRST card was totally wrong, but the second card was written in position one on my piece of paper...and so on down the line.

Well, I have to tell you, that one sort of left me with this odd sensation, and I remember looking at the candle just then, and the flame flickered violently right then, as if a sudden draft had come into the room, but I was not cold, the door was closed, and the house was not drafty--nor was I anywhere near a furnace vent (which wasn't running that day anyhow), and we didn't have air conditioning, and the windows were closed. It was a relatively mild autumn evening.

Well, I have to tell you, I blew out the candle, turned on the lights, put the cards away, hugged myself for a minute (gotta tell ya, I was SPOOKED!), then I walked out into the living room, sat down and watched television to get my mind off it. The next day, I returned the paranormal book, and refused to do any further divination. Not because of some religious aspect--because I wasn't AWARE of religion at this point--my parents took me to church only twice in my life when I was VERY young (back when dirt was only a gleam in it's mother's eye), and therefore, religion really didn't play a part in my decision--it was just that it really unsettled me.

There was/IS something "out there". Something we don't understand, and probably something that we aren't supposed to understand--maybe something we will never understand--"out there". It is what I call "other-worldly". Sometimes good, sometimes not--depending on your perception--and possibly whether or not "it" perceives which will do it the most "good". It's not something that can be "controlled", although others would have you believe it can be. It is a force that is likely closer to nature than you are. It gives me pause to consider the beliefs of the Celts and the Druids--the Scots and the Irish--where my blood roots are--and while I am not a student of either of these teachings, I am AWARE of them, and recognise them as mostly mythological. But the Celtic/Druid people BELIEVED in these things, deeply--before the Catholic church came in and brought it's own belief system.

Don't get me wrong. I think faith is a marvelous thing. Personally, I believe the teaching of the Baptists--which is based on the Catholic, but steers itself away from all of the symbolism and the mythological systems of history--to follow a more "intellectual" path, based on learning from the mistakes others made in history. I think the Crusades were based on a pursuit of property and grounded in the greed of the historical "church"--and that this same greed does exist today--although at a much lower level--you don't lose your life because of what you do or don't believe in--someday, that MAY CHANGE. I believe that there is more to a person than just a body and brain--more than just a pretty face (okay, mine's not so pretty, but you get the picture). I believe that everyone has their own personal path, and that no one can tell you what that path may be. I don't believe that atheists have it right, nor do I believe that the church has it right, nor do I believe that the agnostics have it right. I think we're all like the 4 blind men set upon determining what an elephant is. Whatever "IT" is, it is BIGGER than us--bigger than we can conceive or imagine.

In the play "Our Town", Rebecca states that she saw a letter addressed to someone--it had the normal "stuff" on it...Name, Street, City, State, Zip, but then it went on to say "USA, North America, The Earth, The Universe, THE MIND OF GOD".

How profound is that?

Tenna has had too much coffee.

Sorry to be so long winded. Many people suppose that I am a religious nut. I just wanted to take the time to give an indication to what I specifically "believe", without sounding like a religious nut. As I said, I don't follow any particular "religion". I believe what I believe--I try to share it when I can. I don't push it on you, I don't want you pushing yours on me--any more than I would tell you "this path is better or more 'right' than your path". Your path is your path. Right or wrong, good or bad, it's still YOUR CHOICE to follow it. If YOU determine that it's the wrong path, you will make choices to change your direction, or choose to make no choice and continue down the same road, whether it's in your best interests or not, or maybe just to "check out what's further on down that road". In the final analysis, we all will give an account of the road we followed. THAT is what I believe, and I think that most of us will have a few regrets--I mean, WHO DIES HAPPY?

I can answer that...the one with the most .

More coffee required. :)