TGIF

Well, the week was a long one, but it's finally over, and I get to relax this weekend and enjoy three days of "somewhat" uninterrupted bliss. The only thing to interrupt said "bliss" is that I will be taking my uniform and drums over to Grand Rapids to return to the band.

I've already got two friends willing to take me into their band to practice and play. It almost sounds like I'm a "hot commodity". Considering that there aren't a lot of female snare drummers out there, I think I'm sort of an enigma--or perhaps akin to one of the world's natural wonders--ha! But for what it's worth, the offers have been a big boost to my ego, and have really lessened the sense of loss that I've been feeling.

I was chatting with Ray on the telephone today, and I got the impression that the entire thing had nothing at all to do with the band itself, and was never put to a vote--but that the decision was made by either the PM and the DS, or the PM alone. Which makes it neither better or worse. I've still been ousted.

And I have been knitting--I've got about 36 more rows to go on the Knitty "Breeze", plus the toe, which I think is about 19 rows if memory serves. I've finally made this pair correctly--knits and purls in the right places, and the extra "knitting" has made it take longer to knit, as I have to keep track more closely. Otherwise, they are coming along nicely.

Monthly Dishcloths at Yahoo Groups has likely got their mid-month KAL online, and I've got to check my email to see if the item has been posted, and I see that it has been! Yay!

I figure that I'll have the Knitty socks done this weekend for sure, and then I will work on my Fair Isle a la Philosopher's Wool again. When I get bored with that, I'll work on the dishcloth, then back to the Wool and some spinning. I plan to enjoy myself, as I should.

Be My Valentine??

Hmm. This year Valentine's Day has left a sour taste in my mouth.

Let's see...

Wednesday, I missed 5 hours of work because my husband needed a ride and a wrecker....he got a very nice card, with a very nice sentiment and a box of chocolate turtles. Recently, he got a brand new pair of hand-knit socks.

Me, I've been working my buns off trying to make up the time I missed from work on Wednesday, got kicked out of the band, and (to be fair) he is taking me to dinner this weekend BUT

I really needed some small gesture on "the day".

Is it too much to ask? Just a small gesture--a flower on my pillow? A card? I mean, especially after getting dumped by a whole group of people I called friends. After all I've done, and all the disappointment I've been through over the last 24 hours!!?

I now understand why some women take lovers--someone who will pay attention to all the little things, and hold you snugly when you feel like the world is crushing down on you.

Yup. Real sour taste. If any men read this, I surely hope you take heed of the woman in your life. She may not be there tomorrow.

Tarot Draw

Long while back, before getting booted from the band, I drew the Sun, then the Star reversed. And they dealt with the band, I'm sure. Big ideas, big dreams, the world is your oyster, but you'll not get your wish this time.

Sad, but true.

Today, I asked WHY?

I drew

The devil--addiction
The 6 of Wands-Victory
The 5 of Wands-Another struggle
The Fool-A new glorious journey with new hopes and dreams.

Basically, this means to me that while I strove hard to create something for the Bagpipe Band, I was prevented by someone else's addiction, but that Victory over the entire matter is at hand. There will be another time of struggling to hold my head above water, and probably others will be involved in the foray, but the result is that I will head off in a different direction, with my head held high (perhaps not watching where my feet might fall) with my head in the clouds, so to speak.

In short, something really cool is just around the corner. I just have to keep on keeping on. So that's what I plan to do.

The End of an Era

Today, I got a letter in the mail.

It was from the Pipe Major of the Grand Rapids and District Pipe Band, sent special delivery, which piqued my interest...so I opened it.

What a surprise!

It's like they read my mind!

I've considered resignation, but felt that they needed me, more than I needed them, but in any case, I stayed on hoping that some "new blood" would come along that I could spend time with, teaching--so that they could take my place--indeed, I never intended the post to last THIS long.

But after two years of working my collective off, they sent me a letter of dismissal from the band. I'm sure that they struggled with the decision, because to dismiss me, means that they lose their entire side drummer line--because Ray and my son both ride with me...if I don't go, then they don't go. Simple as that, really.

Apparently, they didn't care one way or the other. That hurt my feelings, but otherwise I'm pretty okay with it. I'll miss the friendships I thought I had and apparently didn't--after all, how can you miss something you never really had? I'll miss the practices and the times afterward at battalion. I feel shorted for all my effort, but perhaps they've got a better idea that they think will work, and simply leave me in the dust.

It's hard when people betray your trust that way.

It will probably take me a while to get over the lies and deceipt. I no longer have to make this huge trip every weekend to a practice to listen to someone tell me why the drum corps can't make this or that change. I don't have to play footsie with the devil anymore.

In short, a certain amount of weight has been removed, and my weekends are free once again. I hope they find what they are seeking. Maybe someday, I'll get over this betrayal thing.

Ah, if only that were possible.

Not much knitting today, as I was once again very busy just taking care of life. It started this morning when the alarm went off at 5:30AM. I was supposed to rise and shine, but thought I would rest, just a few minutes more.

At 5:45am, my husband walks into the bedroom and announces that I have to get up and take him to work because he conveniently (well, not so conveniently for me) went off the road and into the ditch on his way to meet his vanpool.

So I got up, got dressed, drove him an hour to work, drove home, called a wrecker to extricate his car from the ditch, ran his car over to the vanpool so he could get home, got into my car and headed home to get ready for work.

All that, by 10AM.

I got home, showered, let the dog out, fed the dog, got in the car, took the towing bill to the insurance agency, stopped at Walmart for a Valentine's present for my hubby (he likes Chocolate Covered Turtles), then drove to my parking spot and walked 4 blocks to the office in slick ice/salt mixture.

I got there by 12:30PM.

I worked until 6, with no breaks or lunch. On the way home, my hubby calls and asks me to pick up something from McDonald's, and since I still had about $20 from the money he gave me for the towing, I did.

I got home and found the letter.

I got my gear together, took the patches off my shirt, I have yet to get my cap badge off my glen gerry....but basically, it's all there. Ready to go back to Grand Rapids from whence it came.

Like I said...it's the end of an Era. This time, the betrayal is just too much.

Boy! Have I been BUSY!

First off, early this morning (about 12:30am in fact), I finished this!

I knitted some more on my Knitty Breeze---I'm 1/3 plus done with the foot--so I only have 2/3 -ish to go!

When I got to work, I got nearly everything done that I intended, and also got my wheel bearing replaced on my passenger side--it was growling quite fiercly--and the sound detracted from the attention I needed to pay to my driving...Now, the ride is quite silent and very enjoyable! And with my new tires on the front, I can go nearly anywhere in any sort of weather, fearlessly!

When I got home from work, I fed the sheep, brought the dog in, fed the dog, started dinner, fed the MAN, put the laundry away, started a new load, put a few pictures into my computer, downloaded email, and started to write my blog again. I think I'm about ready to turn in, considering that I only got 5 hours of sleep last night! But I've been so very productive.

Mandy has been watching out the window for some time. I have no idea what she sees--maybe a rabbit.

Evening in the house

Evening in the house and hubby complains that it's cold in here. Sure sign that the temps are dropping to the single digits outside. This morning pans out--it is quite frigid outside, and the fire's gone out.

So I'm making coffee. I'm making Paramount's Mackinac Island Fudge coffee. Talk about your caffeine attack! It's like drinking mellow coffee with hot cocoa--both favorites. The mixture Paramount uses is PERFECT with a capital P. The only game that can top this one is Bigby's Little Teddy Bear--caramel and white chocolate--heck, it's almost like drinking a chocolate bar!

NAYY, but if you can find some of this stuff--try it. It's amazing.

Anyway, I was working on my Breeze (photo above), and I happened to get up from my chair to look out the sliding glass door and stretch for a minute, and I found this:

Now, I figure that you gotta be one tired cat in order to fit your entire body (and this cat is no slouch!) into a box that's only maybe 8 x 10 inches (a cat's version of the American Cubicle in in 1" = 1 ft). She slept through the flash and didn't even flinch! I wonder sometimes how they can contort their bodies into such tiny spaces, but when I think of my cubicle at the office, I think, yeah...okay.

Barb, at So the Thing is, is always doing this picture thing with her yellow cat. Barb--gotta tell you-I think all cats do that curled toe thing...check it out...

of course, you know that this effect woke the cat up, and he's just so adept at escaping the perfect picture....or else he looks like he's hungover...I suppose waking him up wasn't the best idea?

In the meantime, Mandy, who is usually so camera shy--figured since everyone else gets their picture, then I'll sit pretty and wait for MINE. Can't imagine why she sat still for this one, since the flash went off right in her eyes. I think that hurts dog's eyes...I really need to start taking her picture without flash.

It's crazy though, she looks hungover too! Maybe I need to ensure the liquor cabinet is locked for the night. I think they might be getting into my "stash". People are going to put me away for letting my animals drink alcohol!

Soaking Wet in the North Country

We got hammered with snow on Wednesday.
Today, it's raining, after a little bit of snow last night. It's bone chillin' cold because of the wet.

I am sitting at my puter reading mail, blogging, thinking about my knitting and my kitchen at the same time.

I dreamt about an old boyfriend last night. I've actually had too many of those in order to dream about him every night (LOL!). I suppose that's why I call him an old boyfriend...I suppose I could put my memories down here.

I met him in a little coffee house in East Lansing on the MSU campus. It was open mike night, and people would get up on stage and perform--hoping to be asked to play again on a night when they could get paid--sort of a rehersal, I suppose. I don't even remember how I found out about the place, but I used to go nearly every Tuesday night to play my guitar and sing the most recent song that I'd written.

One night, while waiting for my turn, he took the stage. GAD he was just adorable. Dark hair and eyes, moustache, maybe all of 5'6. NICE smile, soft, well proportioned body. Hoo hoo. He was cute. His name was Tom. I couldn't stop looking at him. When he was done with his 20 minute "bit", he came to sit down, and when he passed, I told him "nice voice", because his melodious voice could have put a canary to shame.

The next Tuesday, he was there again, and he sat with ME. Now this was a huge thing, because he literally could have sat with any woman in the joint, but instead, he chose me. And even though I told myself "Easy now, girl..." well, he was just too wonderful for words. He was funny, articulate and intelligent. I was so totally hooked it wasn't even funny.

We spent quite a lot of time together the next few weeks. I was hooked. I found out he had some personal problems just like me (in fact, when I looked at him emotionally, I thought he was my twin!), neither of us was working in any real sense. He wanted to be a teacher--but he was very particular where he wanted to be, and anywhere else, just wouldn't make him happy.

We broke up because he wanted to see other people, and I wanted to be exclusive. Definitely a problem there, and when he asked if we could still be friends, I shook my head no, and walked him to the door and said goodbye.

Then, drama queen that I am, I had an emotional breakdown and sat on the steps and cried until I thought I was going to die. My heart broke into a million pieces, and I was distraught this way for two and a half weeks.

Then I got out of bed one day and told myself I wouldn't think about him anymore. I mean, that's how I did things back then. The next time I saw him at the coffee house, he was with another girl. I left immediately and without a word, and never went back. It meant that I couldn't go to any of the places that we used to go to, which wasn't that much trouble. But I was very lonely.

So I took up Volleyball and signed up for a singles club. In no time I was dating Randy...and that's where and when all the REAL trouble started.

So there you go.

Knitwise, I have another pair of Breeze started, and I am halfway down the heel. I like the heel on the breeze slipper footie, because it's got a cable in it that is only 4 rows deep, and it hugs my heel very nicely. It's a heel flap, which makes it easy for top down sox, and the cable pulls in what extra knitted fabric would be there were I to make a normal heel--which I find is too "flappy" anyway. So I think that the breeze heel is a nicer heel than a heel flap. Perhaps I have unusually narrow heels? Could be. I've never thought of my feet as "narrow" in any sense...since they are so BIG (size 9's).

I've got another washcloth to make, but first I have to find the pattern....so I suppose that I will go and drink some coffee and get back to my knitting and finding that elusive Valentine pattern.

See you tomorrow!