She's BAAAAACK!

Apparently, the staff at Google decided I'm not a spammer, and now I have my blog back! That's the good news.

The bad news is that my ex-mother-in-law (oh, yes, I still stay in touch with my ex-relatives) is in a nursing home nearby. Apparently, she was very near dying--this may be why I've been seeing 3:33 on my clock for the last several days--however, she's pulled through the storm, and is now doing quite well. I'm going to visit her tonight before I go home. I will take a picture and post it here. I always loved her, and want to remember her for the rest of my life, so I will memorialize her here in my blog. Perhaps I will give her this shawl I've been knitting on as a gift--she had to give up her favorite cat and everything, and I'm sure she's quite lonesome! The shawl is a poor replacement, but it's fuzzy and hairy like a cat. I hope she likes it. Somehow, things always turn out that someone needs what I've been knitting on...this seems like a good gift to give.

I was terrified that I was going to ruin our visit alltogether, and I cried a bunch of crocodile tears on the way. The way her son left me was pretty brutal--his betrayal was quite significant in my life--in fact, it resulted in my staying single for nearly 10 years afterward. For whatever reason, I cannot bring myself to tell her what her son did to me. I would like her to understand all the many years of sad and lonely silence when I didn't contact her at all, and why the sudden, "EGAD, I really have to see her now!" feeling I get whenever she's in town.

I understand that she died on the table twice at the hospital this last time. She's in a nursing home now, and worried that this is the last home she will ever know. She and I had a good time, until she started to talk about her son. Clearly, we know two different people.

I suppose I will tell her here, how I have felt for the last 20 years.

I love you. I have always loved you. I always will love you. Ever since the day you and Chuck took me into your home when I reconciled with your son and decided finally to go ahead and marry him, I have cared about your welfare, inquired into your lives and basically followed from a distance, hoping not to disturb any feathers. I only wish that I could share the truth with you about how your son behaved with me and my son...there have only been a few that I've been able to be up front and honest about my feelings with that regard, and most of those have been in the psychological profession! I've never been able to get past it, and I doubt I ever will. Perhaps the day you are finally gone from this world, you will look down on my heart and see exactly what is bourne there. I will stand beside your casket and cry more crocodile tears because in life, you did not really know the truth of the matter, and it kept us from being as close as we could have been. In the meantime, I have to satisfy myself with your friendship. I only wish that it could have been more than it is and what it was. Please forgive my sorrow, my fear of showing you my sorrow, and my proud nature because I hate for anyone to see me cry, but even though I cannot voice these things inside my heart, I hope that somehow, you can still hear them, unspoken, when I visit with you in the hospital and bring you little treats. It's my way, I hope you understand.

And now, having had my tissue issue...

I’ve been knitting like crazy on my shawl, and I’m nearly out of OutBack Mohair. So you know it’s nearly picture time.

I have decided on my next pair of socks—but first, a pic of my John Anderson Kilt Hose. The pic here doesn't do them justice.


These were not a difficult knit, but they are sized for a man’s foot, so I had to make some adjustments to make them smaller. Even then, it’s a fairly easy pattern, and the fit is really good! I’m making another pair for a friend of mine, who also has a smaller foot, but slightly larger than mine, so I am adjusting the pattern for his foot, too.

My next sock will be a convoluted fair isle…using some yellow, black and red self striping yarn and some white as my MC—I plan to wear these with my Ancient McLeod Kilt—

Now technically, I should only wear Scottish Hose with a kilt, but I do like fair isle, and I think that the socks will go well with the kilt, even if they aren’t argyle! Beyond that, I’m not sure that I could handle argyle with those colors, beyond this, I will need extra yarn to make the socks into “knee height”. So have to add the solid color to bring out the fair isle. It’s going to be a stretch of my skills, to be sure, but I’m a bit excited about it.

Today’s tarot card is the Two of Pentacles. This card indicates that you’re trying to juggle money, borrow from Peter to pay Paul—sort of like that. The card shows a picture of a juggler, who is juggling the coins while unicycling across a tightrope. It can also mean frazzled nerves, feeling at the end of your rope and running around in circles. Well, I suppose that’s how I’ve been feeling at the office, for absolute sure!

Golly! It's good to be back!