Thursday, September 25, 2008

Missed Diagnosis Perhaps?

Holmes? What gives?!

I went to the doctor yesterday, and while examining my thumb, the tendon snapped.

And the doctor FELT it.

I said "Did you feel that?"

She said "YES!"

And I replied "THAT'S what I'm TALKIN' about!"

So she called the physical therapist, who wasn't there, so she left a message for the PT to call her back. Here is what she said amongst a plethora of medical jargon:

If she (the PT) agrees with what I asked, we'll have you come into the office to get stuck (meaning a steroid shot), because apparently, Dr. Atasi stuck you in the wrong place--if you're not better in a couple of weeks, you're definitely going to surgery.

Dear God. That's all I need. The PT is helping, but the tendon isn't getting better because there's another tendon in the same area that is either scarred or too tight, which isn't allowing the first tendon to slide neatly though the second tendon...

So I may be looking at some medical leave, which is all I need right now--what with my father in law having cancer and oh, I didn't tell you yet, mother in law fell down (again), cut her cheek and needed 5 stitches. My own mother is talking knee replacement, and now I'm falling apart.

On a good note, Ray got himself a new computer, and I helped him put it together. Then I helped him hook up his new digital telephone, that has a base in the computer room AND in his bedroom, so that if something happens to him in his bedroom, he doesn't have to crawl down the stairs to get to the phone to call 911. Considering his health, I thought it was a good plan. I set up his puter, and then the cable guy came by and hooked up his internet, and then I set up his Explorer to go out and get his email account without logging in a thing, and he just loves it.

I also got him a chat program (MIrC) in hopes that he'll use it to chatter with people online-maybe find himself a new friend there.

Then we talked with my son for a while and downloaded a few other programs that I have to download here at home as well, and from there, we'll head for the hills.

So I've found out why my son sits on the internet all night long--he's chattering in MIrC, which stands for Inter Relay Chat (can't remember what the M stands for)...suffice to say, you spend less time on a phone call, and irc takes up all your time if you get addicted--and he certainly is. I got away from irc long ago. Now none of the friendships I made there are around because they got lives.

I wish my son would get one too.

In the meantime, I have to check my bank balance, so chatter later!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Latest On my FIL

I write that title, and Know that it means Father-In-Law, but it also means "brother" in French--which strikes me--not the meaning itself, but that I would have that thought speed through my consciousness (or unconsciousness, as the case may be) at such an early hour.

Dad had a PET scan yesterday. Hubby talked with dad, but didn't tell me a THING. Then, the phone rings at 10pm, and it's dad again--mom fell and had to have 5 stitches under her eye.

I'm just sayin'--the stress is for the birds.

Did I tell you that I'm working a lot of overtime? Well, right now, no, I'm not, because I need a few moments to collect my thoughts before I really have to dig in. Frankly, I'm pretty scatterbrained right this second. I worked until 6:30pm yesterday, went to the store, bought milk and bread, then stopped into my favorite fast food joint for dinner, then to spin night where I did nary a thing, and then home to find that my dog, Mandy had been sick all over the floor.

I was up until 11pm cleaning that.

Then THIS morning, I woke up to the same smell, and realized that Mandy had gotten sick all over the house again this morning. So I put her outdoors and started cleaning the house again--it took me nearly 2 hours.

So you know that I am once again, exhausted. But you know what? The keen side of all this is that my wrist isn't bothering me right now. Count your blessings, right?

So I got about 4 hours of sleep on an 8 hour sleeping pill. My eyes don't really want to focus. In fact, they want to close, and I might oblige them at 3pm--when I go on one of those union-entitled "breaks". And when 7am hits, I'm going to hit the books hard (after I get some COFFEE-BLACK GOLD-LIQUID ENERGERIZER BUNNY). I figure I should get some work done if I try hard enough.

In the meantime, the latest birds at the feeder are nuthatches, chickadees, and a downy woodpecker. Then there was this small, unidentifiable bird--it looked like a grey bluebird, and may have been a snowbird--but they are very charcoal colored on top, light fawn-grey on the bottom, so I don't know for sure what this was.

Well, it's 6:58am. I'm on my way to the Coffee Shop. Have a great day everybody!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Hoping for exhaustion..

Exhausted? I've been working 12 hour days all week. I'm beyond exhausted.

Latest on my father-in-law:

Nothing new to report, really, except for that my Mother in law says that what-ever-it-is, it's the size of two fists, and he's having trouble breathing. Sister in law says that it was an anxiety attack, and that seems reasonable, considering that he just learned he's got a growth in his lung, but I'm no doctor.

I told my husband to re-think his plans (or lack thereof) to fly to Florida to be with the family over Thanksgiving. He's all about the cost and such, but he can afford it. When he balked at my suggestion, I told him this:

"If something happens to your DAD, you will WANT to be with your family...and that's that!", and that was the end of the discussion because I was VERY firm, which is sometimes what it takes with this hard-headed man.

In any case, whichever way things go, the fact is, he WILL be going to Florida whether he wants to or not, because frankly, he will be one lonely puppy if he DOESN'T go, since I'm starting to plan for it for me.

The thought that it might be the last Thanksgiving with Dad is pretty hard--hubby says that he doesn't think his dad will opt to treat it if it's malignant--well, now there's a scary thought. Just give up and let it take you? Not me! I'd be in the hospital in a heartbeat saying "GET RID OF IT NOW! I DON'T WANT IT! I NEVER WANTED IT!" And when I had that lympoma (not to be confused with lymphoma) on my left shoulder, I told the doctor that he needed to prep me for surgery, because there was no way that I was having that "thing" on my back where I couldn't watch what it was doing. I was so surprised that I had a lump on my back, that I simply acted and then it was gone.


The biggest thing is that you really can't ACT until you know what you're dealing with, so you can prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for something as major as LUNG surgery. So I can understand why dad might have an anxiety attack--especially since he doesn't allow his feelings to be on his face. Mom says that he hasn't even dealt with it yet, and thinks he's working too hard at trying to NOT deal with it, but what can you do before the doctor says "here's what it's your options".

We find out later today.

Here I am with a class to teach in Hastings on dying on Saturday, so the only day I have to work this out with his dad (and of course, he wouldn't even talk to anybody about it all day Thursday, even though my hubby wanted to talk on the phone with him), is SUNDAY, and I seriously don't want to wait that long...

So I told hubby that he's to go over to his folks on Saturday, and that I'll meet him there after the class--I'm seriously hoping that everything turns out okay.

Bad news on the home Front

I had to blog this morning.

My husband passed along a piece of pretty bad news to me at 5 am this morning.

His father has been suffering with a "hanger on" cold--you know, the cough that just won't leave?

So after a bout with antibiotics and Vicks and breathing treatments, Doctor sent him to Xray.


Then Doctor sent him to biopsy.

Getting the picture yet? I can't even write it down. The word simply strikes fear into my heart, and all I can imagine/hope, is that it's really only a small scar from the bout of pneumonia he had a year or so ago.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Doctor's don't know everything there is to know--that's why they call it "practice", right?

I can't bear to think of losing my Canasta partner to that awful, black hateful word.

So I'm pretty scared--and of course, it doesn't sit really well with me that my husband suffered with the idea for 24 hours before he told me about it. What took him so long?????????????

I know his sister will take it hardest--they just moved to Florida for her husband's job, and she's really close to her mom and dad--this will just tear her apart...not to mention me! He is, after all, the BEST DARN CANASTA PLAYER IN THE WORLD.


Monday, September 15, 2008

While the World Waits..

I think it rained 4 or 5 days straight up here in Michigan--probably offshot from the hurricane down in Texas (not that Texas weather impacts much on ours, but just that hurricanes tend to skew the normal way of things). It seems like every hurricane that's come by the Carribean coast has caused it to rain considerably in Michigan.

I got some knitting done this weekend, but I tell you-Every time I pick up the needles or do anything for more than a few moments with my right hand, causes hours of agony later on. So I've been knitting, but only sporadically.

I've been watching television shows about 9-11 this weekend. The feeling I get is the same every time I see it--frozen in shock. Simply frozen, and can't take my eyes off the screen. I was at work that morning, and around 8:35, one of my co-workers came to tell me that the first tower had been hit.

Another friend called me on the phone shortly thereafter to tell me that they had a television tuned to CNN, and everyone was watching. I dropped in for a moment to watch it, and while so doing, the second tower was hit.

And I said "They're going to fall." No one believed me.

And then a few hours later, the statement came true.

My first thought while watching the towers fall was "wow, it's just like watching a demolition crew take a building down." And that thought brought on all sorts of visions of foul play by our own government, even though there were reports of radical muslim groups flying in all sorts of directions. Then I thought of the buildings themselves--"I hope they didn't have asbestos in them." But I know that they did have asbestos in them, because they were built during the period when asbestos was in its heyday. And now, I think to myself "more people are going to die of mesothelioma than you can shake a stick at".

Okay, morbid enough for you?

And according to the fire-fighters who LIVED, the fire was OUT. I still have no idea why no one thought they would fall. I'm pretty sure that the builder knew different. He HOPED for a better outcome, but KNEW different. Even if there had been NO FIRE, I knew that they would fall.

And so the weekend was full of visions--homes and cars and families who lost someone in the melee--the twisted metal monument down the road from where I work and the memorial that is played every anniversary. The lowered flag for the loss of life and for the loss of so many heros who fell that day.

The constant vigil to try to keep our country safe and secure from those who would seek to harm us, only bringing the wrath of God on their own heads, because truly--what goes around, comes around. No one knows that better than an American.

So keep hiding, nere-do-wells. We will sniff you out and find you, and may your God be merciful to your black heart after we're done with you.

(just call me hothead)

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Saturday in Overtime

On Friday, crews working on the roadway that goes past the building I work in punctured the watermain, and the roadway suddenly had a new fountain!

And a lake.

Construction crews in the new building next door were putting in lines and digging holes for electrical connections in the rain, suddenly had large holes full of water. They struggled to put up piles of dirt to re-direct the flow of water, but you know what? Gravity still works, and water will always flow to the lowest point.

The building manager's voice came across the intercom to tell us to evacuate the building as the Electric/Water Company was coming to shut the water off, which effectively put our building without water, and the Department of Management and Budget was worried about contamination--when I found out they were shutting down the water main, I told everyone to go potty NOW.

At 2:30pm our building closed until crews could fix the main and get the water turned on again, but the crews were putting a sleeve on the main as we were walking by--calling out "THANK YOU'S" to the workers standing knee deep in dirty water.

I had physical therapy at 4pm--what was I going to do with an hour and a half?

So I drove over to Threadbear--even though I didn't have a lot of gas, and I figured I'd stop at Speedway and get some on the way there.

The lines were a mile long, and the wait even longer.

It seems that someone in Jackson put their gas at $6 a gallon, and all because of this "hurricane" that's supposed to hit the coast of Texas and destroy some oil wells????

So that means higher gas prices? Even though the price per barrel has gone down $50 from previous months?

I think someone is bilking here.

I had to fill my tank anyway, so it didn't phase me much, but I did call everyone on my call list on my cell phone and told them to get gas NOW.

Turns out I didn't have to rush anybody. The price is actually LOWER today than it was yesterday, and there are no lines. It was all a big fat ugly joke.

So since I saw crews fixing the main yesterday at 2:30, and since I forgot all about calling the building to find out if things would be open TODAY, I got here-the water is working just fine-but I called the information line, and guess what?

The building is still closed.

So I figure I'll blog about all this, eat breakfast and then head back home and go back to bed. The biggest issue I have is that I nearly hit two (not just one, but TWO) deer crossing the road in the dark, and somebody nearly sideswiped me merging in on an on-ramp. I suppose that I should have taken that as an omen? Plus it is raining cats and dogs, so I'm in no hurry to go. But even if I stay and work my rumpus off trying to get caught up on things here, I wouldn't get paid for it, because the building is "supposed" to be closed. Beyond that, I'm here earlier even than the building manager, so the information line won't be updated until HE comes in, which is another hour from now. So basically, I get to play for a little while and waste time. I could really stand to get these files boxed and on their way to records center. They are in everyone's way...but it will have to wait.

It's getting lighter outdoors. I think I'll take care of my breakfast and head home.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Kong Time

I decided that my dog, Mandy needed some new toys. She loves to play fetch, but she's pretty good at playing with stuff all by herself. Being a Border Collie stuck in the house is pretty boring--she's a very active dog. I wish that I could take a video of what she does with her newest toy--

A Kong toy.

It's like a rubber ball, but shaped like the ice cream on an ice cream cone. It doesn't bounce like a ball, either, and goes in pretty unsuspected directions when dropped. It's red in color, and is hollow--a hole in both ends, one is bigger, to put in a chewy treat.

But Mandy has no real desire for the treat.

She carries this thing, at a dead run the full length of our living/dining room, **drops it, snaps it back up, and runs in the opposite direction. Repeat from ** over and over again, until she literally drops herself into a heap for a nap.

This, and chasing the cats around the house, are her favorite pastimes.

GAD I wish I had her energy.

Also, today is the 7th anniversary of the attack on the Twin Towers. Please be sure to set aside a moment or two for remembering those who were lost that day.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Saturday Night and I ain't Got Nobody!

Imagine me.
In my car.
In the dead of night.
On a lonely dirt road.
With all the lights off.
A corn field on one side.
A bean field on the other.

I am parked in the wilderness.
In the dark.
But I am NOT afraid.

No, I am waiting for the night-time sensation. I'm told there's to be an aurora tonight, and by golly, I want to be ready to see it.

Then the clouds rolled in, and obliterated the sky of stars. I drove home, sadly. Unfulfilled. Undressed at midnight and climbed into bed. Then the rain came.

And I went to sleep.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Mandy's having a Love Affair

With Maalox.

She's got another tummy bug. She gets them now and then, and loses control of herself in the house. I'm sure she's embarrassed about it but it makes such a stinky mess in the house. It's never confined to one area, either--it's EVERYWHERE. And it takes a lot of time to clean up with my spot bot.

I've used it so much in the last couple of days that I'm running out of formula! I bought this HUGE bottle too, that should have lasted until the second coming of Christ--but it's nearly gone.

I'll have to buy more tonight, because I'm sure, that even with a dose of Maalox, the sh** will still be flowing this afternoon when I get home from Physical Therapy.

Physical Therapy you say? Well, yes, for my tendinitis--which is another PAIN. IN. THE. well, never mind--it isn't there anyhow, so no need to say it. It's for my wrist, and basically, they've given me a new brace that does a real stand-up job (since it's stiff as concrete), and heat in this machine that has cornmeal in it, and massage and exercises. The pain is getting less, but it's still there, and after 6 months of it, I'm ready to cut off my arm. The brace gets in the way of knitting, so I do a little with the brace off, put the brace back on, that sort of thing.

Anyway, I'm in a baaaaad mood, and it's one of those days when you don't want to cross me, or you'll end up in the dog house.

Just ask the DOG!

I've been having so much trouble with sleeping and sleep patterns, that I'm just about at my wits end--so what does my hubby do?

Okay, maybe I shouldn't go there, but there's a time for everything, and ONE THIRTY IN THE FREAKING MORNING, just ISN'T ***IT***.

I was awake until 3am, trying to get tired again, and literally never heard my alarm. Or perhaps I did, and simply turned it off and don't remember. Or perhaps I did hear it and decided it wasn't worth going to work today because I am so grumpy that I'll bite the head off the first person who says "good morning".

Something about "What's good about it?" comes to mind REAL QUICK.

And so, while cleaning dog doo doo off the carpet, I write to you, dear reader of my blog, because I know you REALLY get a THRILL out of reading about somebody else cleaning up dog poo--since I figure everyone's been there, but I'm such a drama queen about it all...and so.very.graphic.

Apologies to anyone I've offended anybody (yes, right there in the "my eye" catagory). On to nicer ideals.

Still working on the flat feet socks. While my design looked good on paper, it didn't feel right on my foot, so I abandoned it, and now I'm back to doing regular socks 2x2 rib, short row heel, 2 x 2 rib on top and stockinette on the bottom, and my standard lovely toe. Then I'll go off socks for a while, I think, and work on Fanilla. I haven't done much on it since finishing the back--so it's next in line.

The weather is cooling off, too, so soon I'll have my fair isle sweater out again. Yay. Something to be happy about!


Oh, and I'm pleased to report that there has been no more hang up phone calls. This is a good thing--especially for the person who's been doing it.

And since it's Friday (I have to be happy about that, right?), it's just one more day, and then


I'm going to visit my mother, take her shopping, give her a gift of crochet cotton, come home and knit until the lights go out in Georgia.

QUIET! I'm trying to count my blessings, here!

Sunday, husband will likely take me out to breakfast (our standard fare on Sundays, which has turned into a sort of "tradition"), and then perhaps to his parents (if the dog doesn't have issues with my living room carpet again) for a few games of Canasta...and then?

Oh, by the way, I'm sure many have seen the ads on television for "Yours and Mine" KY Jelly?

Don't bother. And no, you may not ask me "how I know". The "Your's" is simply KY with warming mixed in. The "Mine" is KY with a bit that starts a little on the chilly side, and turns to warm with "friction", let the reader understand.

I figure that I'll go back to regular KY, as "Yours and Mine" sort of woke my husband up in the middle of the night, just "thinking" about it...and remembering that it was right there on the kitchen counter..and that I'd bought it just for us to try out--and he fell asleep soon after eating his Quizno's sandwich last night, leaving me to my knitting and Direct TV, when nothing was there to watch.

Wait a minute...

I lost track, wasn't I counting my blessings?

Okay, the floor is nearly done with the Spot Bot, the dog is outdoors, laying in the flower bed (which is mostly dirt right now from the hot weather we had, coupled with the non-stop rain last night, I'm sure I'll have to bathe her when I pull her into the house, sigh), and I can then bring the dog into the bathroom, give her the Maalox, then leave for the office. Maybe I'll park in the Lot across from where I work? That should be fun! Then after work, go to get my Physical Therapy and my nails done--have to remember to take a look at paying the bills....All the stuff I do on Fridays.

Then Home Again, only to begin it all over again on Saturday.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I'm just Sayin'!

Hotter than a Jalapeno in the Cancun sun!

I tell you, I don't know how hot it was today, but by the time I got home, I was exhausted from the heat. I fell into bed at 6pm, and slept until a little after midnight.

Now, I'm awake again at 3am.

I'll probably knock out again in a minute or two, but thought I would write down a few thoughts before sleep overtakes me. Right now, the weather is quite comfortable, so I best hurry--the best sleep weather is just before dawn, right?

Anyway, the last couple of days, I've been getting hang up phone calls. I don't generally answer the phone at home because I listen to the phone ring so much at the office--and Sunday and Monday night both, the phone rang--the first time, my hubby answered and the caller hung up. The second time I simply couldn't get to the phone in time. The caller hung up and didn't leave a message.

I answered the phone at the office today, hangup. I had 3 messages on my voice mail at the office--all three were clearly from the same phone (same background noise), but no message was left.

The regularity of the calls is reminiscent of the time when I was alone, living in St. Johns in the trailer after my second husband left me and during the time he was stalking me.

I asked the tarot who it was doing all the calling, and I got the 5 of swords reversed. Someone trying to pull a prank, but pretty unsuccessfully. I'm not going to worry about it.

It could be one of two people, I expect. My sociopath ex-husband or Ray.

If it's Ray, he should know better than to try to pull this sort of stunt.

If it's my ex, you should know that I have caller ID on my phone now. If you harass me even one more time, I will have your sorry butt tossed in the slammer for stalking and harassment. It is not in your best interests to continue on this course of action. I don't care if you're considering leaving your third wife and hoping to get back together with me. I am happy in my life, and there is no room in it for the likes of you.

Remember that the next time you think about picking up the phone to reach out and touch someone who has no desire for your touch, and hasn't, for close to 30 years.

Yes, I know that encompasses the time we were married. I think I made my point.