Friday, September 6, 2013

On Waking

I'm still trying to manage keeping my eyes open. It's 8am, and I've accomplished nearly nothing. Well, that is if you think that linking my gmail account to my work account so that I can join a work list serv counts. That took a little thought, actually, but things should work out from here. I'm sucking down coffee in hopes that the brew will be strong enough, if not to wake me, to help me remain seated in my chair and not puddled around my feet on the floor snoring. Methinks I am expecting too much out of a cup of coffee. Be aware--there are 24 oz of hazelnut caffeine in this cup. If that doesn't wake me, nothing will. So's been good, but hope for success is failing. Gulp. I have a friend who is experiencing a life changing event. It's not the greatest event, and I'm sad for her, but I suppose I'm not much help or support. I believe too much in the committment of being married, and feel that my own divorces were just too much of a loss of myself. Yes, you saw a plural there. I know you guys are sharp. You wouldn't miss that. I see both sides of the issues, and realize that people often will stick sometimes, much too hard to their ideas of what married life should be like--and they forget that things/times/people change, and that they grow, and that they need opportunity to bring them satisfaction. Anything that stands in the way of that is going to bring feelings of being trapped, unable to do what you want. The best marriages are marriages where both partners realize these things and are able to reach agreements based on respect for the other, and basically go with the flow. When things get too rigid, one person feels controlled. And that's not a good thing. But each one has to understand the other's needs and desires, and love them enough and trust them enough to be able to discuss the matter and come to a conclusion where everyone wins. Sometimes, that's not possible, I suppose. It's sad when it's not possible. Because I believe anything is possible. Except bungie jumping. And jumping out of perfectly good airplanes. Or finding gold at the other end of the rainbow. Stupid rainbow keeps moving. How can I wax so philosophic when I'm only half awake? Oh, I don't know. I suppose it's because I've picked up the pieces so many times that I can do it in my sleep now. One can only hope that anything is possible.

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