Saturday, May 3, 2008

Judy is Leaving us

Such a somber title, but it's what's most on my mind as I type. My friend and ex-mother in law, Judy is languishing in Hospice, sound asleep--and heavily medicated--I've been to visit her room every day in the last couple of days, and left her flowers--though she will not live to see them.

My signature yellow rose--a flower that I have kept as a part of my heart for going on 30 years now--I know that it means "jealousy" in all the "books", but to me, it is a one of a kind thing--long time ago I adopted this flower, and it's been a mainstay in my life since.

Choosing it was the result of my grief over the loss of a very intimate involvement with someone who was only in my life for a very short while, but the love and affection I had for this guy was something of story books. Losing him was pretty traumatic. While in therapy over the loss, I was asked to close my eyes and imagine what flower I would be--and really "playing along", I visualized a yellow rose bush outside my ex-inlaws house, next to the oak tree...and I said I'm a yellow rose.

Of course, the therapist, and you, the reader, probably thought/think "OOOH! Thorns!"

But to be honest, the thorns don't really "come out" until I'm hurt by someone I care about, and then I can be very "thorny" indeed.

In fact, one of my chants is "Be good to me, I will be your friend forever. Be mean to me, and YOU will RUE THE DAY!"

So the yellow rose bush came out of grief, so when I feel grief/loss, I get or give yellow rose(s). It's become a part of me.

So the family is tearing down the nursing home room this weekend. I offered to help, but there really isn't much there--beyond that, my ex-husband will be there (read that "vulture") and there is no need to have trouble develop. It's bad enough that he knows I'll be at the viewing and the funeral. I will have to ask my friend Wanda (Judy's daughter in law) for a picture of Judy so that I can blow it up to an 8x10 glossy, scan into my puter and have her with me for a little while longer. I'm gonna miss that old lady!

In the meanwhile, I'm still practicing and listening to the Flint Scottish Medley. Keeping myself busy (last night, hubby and I took the wicker plant stands to Novi/Wixom, which was a long drive!)

Oh, and the television has died. Hubby asked me what I wanted to do today, and since we have no television anymore I thought perhaps we should go to Best Buy and get an HD television--no sense in spending money to buy another analog set when HD BlueRay is going to be the only thing available in another year or so. So we're talking about it.

You know...I have come to find out, that when certain appliances are not operating properly, one should check the most obvious it plugged into the wall socket?

Apparently, the dog or the cats in there normal daily play got behind the television and unplugged it. No Blue Ray today.

So I need to get a new bulb for my microwave, since the one above the stove burned out. That one was a bit difficult to get out of the socket, and in fact, the bulb came apart in my hubby's hand--we had to shut off the lights to pull the aluminum piece out with needlenose pliers. I know, danger, danger Will Robinson, but we did flip the main before attempting such a silly task.

Children: please do not attempt this at home!

Now the standard way of removing broken bulbs from the socket is to shut down the main switch in the fuse box, and use a potato to pull the rest of the parts out, but we were out of potatoes....honey, put potatoes on the grocery list, will ya?

I'm trying to convince hubby to sell his oldest computer to my friend Ray for cheap that Ray doesn't have to use the library's internet connection anymore. Ray has cable television, and could easily hook up to the cable internet, since he lives right in town. All he'd have to do is buy a cable modem, speakers and a printer, and he'd be good to go. I think hubby is going to go for it, and Ray is a little miffed about the library because they'll only allow him to surf for an hour a day, and there's usually a line waiting to use the library computers, so his time on internet is limited.

I figure I'll introduce him to chat rooms/channels and the like. I think he would have a lot of fun chatting with other people online!

So much for needing a new television. I guess I won't be getting one yet. He will wait until the last minute for the change, and at that time, the demand will be so high from all the other people wanting/needing sets, that the cost will be exorbitant!

Well, I think I will head over to Knitting Daily, and see what I can download.

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