The Emperor and His New Clothes

The story, as beguiling as it is, is basically premised on the idea that a smart "common person" can often outwit an idiot "king".

Hubby has been complaining about my wardrobe. He does not, however, take it upon himself to buy me new stuff, because I never let go of the old stuff. It's comfortable, and while it's not "kingly", I work more efficiently. I can RELAX and enjoy the good parts of my job (which lately are so few and far between as to be a joke--but it pays well. Sometimes, I wonder about that, too, but I digress.), and while the way I dress doesn't buy me the respect I deserve, I figure "whatever". Ya'll can just go to H. E. Double Toothpicks. I need the comfort when I'm in an uncomfortable position, and by golly, I'm so uncomfortable and stressed that I'm nearly bald in places. You know that receding hairline that men get? Well, I have one, too, because I've pulled my hair out there. It grows back, I have little 1" sections.

Yes, the job is stressful. Life is stressful. Heck, even my DREAMS are stressful!

Last night I dreamed that my husband broke the television, and demanded that I buy a new one.

Demanded!

And I started to cry, because I'd had just a horrible day at the office, and here he was demanding stuff from me, too. I was crying so hard that he woke me up because my breathing was so weird. And when I woke up, the corners of my eyes were wet.

But it didn't stop there.

I did fall back to sleep, and dreamed that my son, mother and her friend, and I all drove to a craft store. My mom and her friend went inside, my son went to a skateboard place and left his door wide open. It ticked me off, so I yelled all the way across the parking lot TWICE to get his butt back to the car to close the door! When he got back, suddenly the door was closed, and he took off back for the skateboarding place.

I removed my keys from my pocket, and all my money fell on the floor of the car. While I was trying to pick it all up, my mother and her friend came out of the store, got in the car, my son came out of the skateboard place, and everyone told me to get in so we could go home.

I was so mad! I finally told my son to turn the car around and get me back to the craft store so I could get some crochet cotton (or something) and I swore, which I almost never do in front of strangers, and my mother reached across the car and slapped me in the face.

And then I woke up, because the alarm went off. And I told my husband that he was going in to the office to work instead of me, because I just can't take the disrespect anymore.

So when I took my shower, I thought--I'll wear one of my new T's that I bought at Meijer's last night--and while I don't feel like a million bucks, at least I've got on more clothing than the Emperor had on. I bet I paid a lot less, too.