Sunday, August 29, 2010

Cleaning the Kitchen

If there is one thing I hate, it's housework. Housework is work, the same way that diet means you're gonna die! (get it? Die-t)

In any case, I tend to reserve kitchen cleaning to the house elves, and let me tell you, they are

SLACKERS!

I had a sink full of dirty dishes, mold growing on some watermelon rind and we won't even discuss the refrigerator--just the large moldy penal colony in there.

Well, no more.

My step-son's girlfriend took their newer, used frig outdoors and power washed it. While I watched her, I thought of the family in my own frig, and thought to myself...I should really evict those people! There aren't adding value to the food in there--

And so became Sunday a day of House Work.

Now Housework isn't really work. If it was work, I'd get paid for it, and believe me, I don't. Since the house elves have been apparently on vacation all summer, I figure it fell to me to "git er done" (I just love Larry the Cable Guy! Did you know he's never worked for a cable company, and that his name isn't Larry?) But even if I DID get paid for housework, I still wouldn't do it but once a week. I figure that's plenty of time--at least to get the dishes in the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, vacuum the floors and sweep up those little pieces of grit that stick to the bottom of your feet. I call it

PRESENTABLE.

And thus began my day--toss laundry into the wash, make coffee, gather dishes from around the house, pick up pop cans and bag them for the car, thaw mice for the snake, draw water into the sink for the really badly soiled pans and utensils that will not come clean in the dishwasher, no matter how hot it gets, wake husband to help with the refrigerator, who, once he figured that the piece I wanted taken apart didn't come apart, returned to bed and fell immediately into another bout of raptured snoring...oh yeah...this man helps with house work like Jimmy Durante needs a nose job.

And then..

The frig.

And yes, I did get it clean. Sparkling even. So clean you could eat off it!

Now I have to fold and hang laundry. Excuse me for a minute or two. I have just 4 laundry baskets full of clothing that must be put away.

Oh, the heck with that. I'm hungry!

Maybe hubby will help?

Ah, maybe not. I think he's somehow related to my house elves, actually. Rather odd, as he's SO MUCH BIGGER than a house elf.

Well, he finally got up and helped with the hang up clothing--nevermind that I had already finished up 2 baskets by myself. Now he's preparing to take me to breakfast (yay!) and then to his mother's to put up a hand railing--I'm taking my crocheting with me, along with sewing thread and needle. I'll be busy most of the day on that.

In other knitterly/crafterly news, I finished crocheting some parts to the Santa Fe Rug, and now must sew them to the parts already sewn together to finish up the center section. Then I can start crocheting around the perimeter--which I am really looking forward to--as it means that I am nearly done with the rug and I can then go back to knitterly things.

So for now, adios! I'm off to my Mother in Law's house!

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