Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Today's the Day

And I am taking today off to take my mother to the surgeon's office to determine what needs to be done and what the risks might be.

It's going to be a long day. I'm taking my knitting with me.

Oh, and that underarm? It was a stinker, but I finally got there. The next rows are bind off rows, and I start on the "home stretch".

The remodel is coming along slowly, but it's coming along--there are a lot of "pieces" to the project, considering that we are putting up green board half way up the wall to help with mold and mildew--then regular sheetrock on the top. Plus the rooms are smaller, so there's more "art" to it--cutting out the electrical boxes and that sort of thing. There are only six more pieces to put up. Hubby says they are small, yet it's going to take two more days to put those up? Frankly, I think that their dyslexia interferes with the part about taking a measurement from one room outside to the board, but that could be just me.

The other night, some of my step-son's friends came over and they had a sheetrock hanging party. But it was slow going until the professional got there--he knew how to do it--fast and easy, and what crack wouldn't be such a big deal. My hubby says if you could pass a hair through it, it's too big a crack. I knew that carpentry isn't that exact a science, but you can't argue with an engineer/toolmaker. It just doesn't work.

But there seems to be a little trouble in paradise--and of course, step son is handling it just like his father--shut up and don't say anything. Hopefully it will all blow over.

The trouble is, women don't get that behavior (especially me). I sit and I stew over it, mulling over what I might have done wrong to make him angry...finally, after

"Okay, was it THIS?"


"You aren't mad about THAT are you?"'s

things finally get ironed out. And yes, I do have to think about it for HOURS. It would be so much easier if he'd just TELL me what it is that was wrong!

But like I said, trouble in paradise--and step's apple didn't fall far from the tree. He basically ignored 4 text messages while we were sitting together chatting last night. So I told him about how much Jeff's behavior ticks me off. That I basically have to figure it out for myself when it would be so much easier and we'd get over it so much faster if he would JUST OPEN HIS F****** MOUTH AND SAY SOMETHING. Step says it's a long story. I think it might be, but I also think he's just making it longer.

He wanted to know what made hubby and I last so long--apparently, he didn't figure that we would last as long as we have. Honestly, I'm kind of surprised myself. We started talking about our anniversary and the discussion dissolved, but I do wonder the same thing. I think it's more a testament to hubby's realization that he's not the easiest man to get along with, and my own as well. And before you think I'm agreeing with him that he's the problem--think again. I am just as much at fault. However, he recognizes that I do care for him--that I am not a flighty, get even kind of gal. And he cares for me, too. When the chips are really down, he's been there for me. I guess we stay together because we both realize that we are basically "good people", and if some small "tiff" rises up, it's not going to last long. We know how to go to our separate corners and have some "time out". And I think that knitting has saved me from walking away more than once.

I don't know how you tell a kid that. Step isn't a "kid" so much anymore, and has quite a bit of experience with long-term relationships (just not marriage). I think that he'll survive just fine, even though he seems to love her more than vice-versa. This isn't to say that I don't think she loves him at all--I do--just I wonder sometimes if her connection to commitment is as deep as his seems to be. Hubby agrees with me. It's not easy to find someone who is as committed to the relationship as we seem to be. We know that commitment to the institution of marriage means that you don't just quit when the going gets a little tough, and that there are two rules in marriage.

Don't sweat the small stuff.
It's all small stuff.

And it's meant to be forever, by the way--too many people think that it can be temporary, especially if "I'm" unhappy for too long. For a while, there was a little hope that things would turn around during the AIDS scare--but it's devolving back to it's original selfishness.

My French teacher in high school, Mr. LaBrie would say "Hot love grows cold!".

Yes, that's true. Sometimes, if you choose someone who thinks like you do, is good with conversation, and has some decent sensibilities--when the hot love fire turns into a pilot light, you can still keep things going at a steady pace. If you snag somebody who thinks being married is EASY as long as things are all "lovey, dovey" AKA newlywed period and never has a rock in the road--well, if you're not up to helping to move that rock together, then you're not going to last--of course, some people just take a different road--but if you take the different road together, you can make it last.

And that's my thought for the day--If you can't budge the rock together, make sure you take that other person's hand and walk down a different road together, because walking alone is horribly lonely.

No comments: