Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Blog That Almost Wasn't..

Yesterday was my hubby's 53rd birthday. He's getting to be an old fuddy duddy, but last night he was pretty lively.

His sister and brother in law flew in with their kids, his kids and grandkids and his mother and me, and his other sister were all there--we had steak for dinner, which hubby grilled--having taken that task over from his father's passing, and then for dessert, we had a special pumpkin style pie and ice cream cake (two kinds!). It was a serious party with lots of loud children and balloons. Jeff had a BALL!

His son got him an envelope full of $2 instant winners, and so far, he's won $28--and I got him a couple pair of work pants.

This is sort of a mis-nomer--since he's laid off. 33 years working for a company, and he doesn't have enough seniority to bump anyone! That's horrible! So he's going on unemployment and sub-pay until something else pops up--he's hoping that people will retire this go-round, and give him an opportunity, but if not, he's pretty much planning on retirement. Retirement with no dental or vision coverage, and no vote in union matters.

The whole ordeal has left him with sort of a resigned feeling, and he's NOT happy about it, and he's been sort of puttering around the house. Which is fine. He's doing laundry and washing dishes. Now if I can just teach him how to make a meal, I'll have a house husband! Yippee! Seriously, though, I need to spend extra time paying attention and talking with him or he gets lonely. Pretty soon he'll be calling me at the office.

As I was driving to work yesterday morning, I spied a red motorcycle with a tan Coleman Caboose on the back. This would be my ex-husband, who told me that he had the trailer painted--though I wouldn't have expected it to be TAN, but I digress. He was ALONE on the motorcycle, and it was between 6:30/7am, which seemed to me to be WAY early for anybody who wasn't working to be on the road, for anything...and then I remembered the day he left me--he rose from sleep at 4am, quietly as he could, packed his gear in a box, and very well intended to leave without my knowledge, never to return! I skewed up his plan by waking just as he was carrying a box of his things to the car, and HOY! Was I ever upset!

The entire incident caused me to wonder if perhaps he'd done that same scenario to his current wife, Julie?

I also figured that there was no one he knew in that direction, except for my sister and Ray, so I contacted Ray to let him know that my ex might be on his way for something--but later, Ray informed me that my ex never turned up. Then I thought to contact my sister--who's birthday was also that day, to wish her happy birthday...I know that she maintained a relationship with my ex--having been cleaning his house and babysitting his step kids--he even gave her away at her wedding (which I couldn't bring myself to go to--and the part about his being in her life still galls me to this day--how dare she betray me in such a way!!!) Ah, digression, thy name is Tenna.

My sister was preparing for work, and didn't have a lot of time, but caught me up on the latest family news on her end of the spectrum, and neither of us mentioned my ex--someday, the issue will come to bear, but for now, I simply can't bring myself to discuss it with her. If she was on the internet, she could read it here, but she's 53, and hasn't got an internet connection, so I doubt very much that she ever will have one. Bummer.

So, with those options basically "out", and no real other items that he might travel northward for, I decided that something else was going on, so I drew cards.

And this is what I drew....

You're being petulant, and trying to force an issue which basically died in committee, you are no longer the center of attention as you wish. You need to be more diplomatic with people if you want to get your needs met. That argument you had? Well, it backfired, and now compromise is the only way to go.

But you see, my ex never was one to compromise. If it didn't suit him and his needs, he would pout-get angry-and finally LEAVE. And that's been the case in his last two marriages, why would this one be any different?

I believe the cards are telling me that he and his wife had an argument the night before, and that he has packed his things into the motorcycle trailer and left her--likely to think about what he wants his life to be like--perhaps to "get back to nature", which could mean a lot of things. I'm fairly certain he didn't go north to gamble. The problem is his house. I certainly do not believe that he would leave his house behind--so that's a chink that I haven't quite figured out. If he's contemplating divorce, it's likely he's concerned about losing that. Then again, if it's bad enough for a person, some people opt to leave everything behind, even their kids, and simply disappear with only the clothes on their backs.

The bigger problem is that he's "out there" again. Chasing rainbows. This could be when he finds the red-headed female Harley rider that he cheats on Julie with.

I feel sorry for Julie.

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