It's been said that "sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the hydrant".
Sometimes, though, it seems like you're the hydrant all the time. Things just don't seem to go your way EVER. You're down for the count and they're still kicking you. Not only do you know that the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train, both of your legs are broken, you have no arms left, and no neck or chin to help get you off this silly track you're on.
And you just want to cry out "WHY ME?"
These are the times when you think that everyone is against you, that you'll never get ahead and that if you believe in a higher power (AKA God), then you figure either He's not watching or he's curled up in front of His new HD television watching the playoffs on T-Vo and just.not.paying.attention.
Something like your husband might have done....the not.paying.attention. part.
Sometimes, it's all you can do to mentally climb into God's lap and pull on his beard and say "Play with me????!!"
Some nights, you don't sleep, because all these things just seem to pile up and you can't let them go--and even when you try to let them go, they keep jumping back into your arms the second someone's name pops into your head.
Been there, done that. The only advice I can give to folks who have experienced that sort of trauma, is just to keep on keeping on. Like it or not, time does heal most wounds, but doesn't heal them all, and for those, you have to get yourself a little bit of help...whether it be in the form of prayer, a good solid friendship, or therapy...and sometimes all three...and even then, there's no guarantee. Sometimes, it will last so long that it colors your thinking about EVERYTHING.
But rest assured, there is always someone else going through something much worse, that will make your sorrows seem trivial in comparison. As time marches on, your sorrows will seem less and less.
It helps if you have your ovaries removed.
Don't ask me why, but after I had my hysterectomy, I quit crying about a lot of things. I enjoyed life more than I EVER have. I don't feel like I need a man to complete me anymore. Some of this comes with age, but a lot of it is due to not having ovaries anymore. I still need my husband for some things. I mean, who's going to take out the trash and burn it, right?
So now, when I run into people who are going through trials, I tell them all the trite things, and then I tell them what finally cured my emotional "effect" that made me so "ineffective" for so many years.
More on that another day. Must work now.