Thursday, June 23, 2011

"Michigan Yoopers Declare War on the U.S.A."

I had to repost this from my email. I didn't bother to post the poster's name, since I'm sure it didn't come from her (other than email) and don't have time right at the moment to get the author, as I'm on my way to the office, but I thought you all could use a REALLY funny story.
The President  was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, Mr. President ?" a heavily accented Yooper voice said. "This is Sven, up here at Olie’s Bar and Steak House in Bruce Crossing, Michigan. I am callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Sven," the President replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Sven, after a moment’s calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Olie, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Pine's Bar. That makes eight!"
The President paused. "I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Wow," said Sven. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again. "Mr. President, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Sven?" the President asked.
"Well sir, we have two 4-wheelers, a snowmobile, and Harry's trail grooming machine."
The President  sighed. "I have tell you Sven, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke"
"Lord above", said Sven, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day. "Mr. President, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Olie’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the coffee shop have joined us as well!"
The President was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Sven, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Oh Lord," said Sven, "l'll have to call you back."
Sure enough, Sven called again the next day. "Mr. President! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said the President. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Sven, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners."
If you're from Michigan, you won't even need to be told to pass this on. If you are not, all you can do is be jealous!

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