What Part of "Vacation"...

I am very nearly furious.

It's my 50th birthday. It's my vacation.

And my hubby is talking to me about "cleaning the garage" while *I* am on vacation, with the added "well, we can't just sit around the house and do nothing for 10 days, can we?"

In the words of Sherman Klump

"Yes, I CAN!"

Now, you need to know that I came up a little short at this man's birthday here at the house--in fact, I don't remember if I got him a gift, but I'm fairly certain that I came up with something at the last minute. And this year, at Christmas, I spent a lot more money on him than I normally do--a new "special" pillow and a fluffy blanket--the kind he really likes. Things that he can enjoy every day--because he is SO hard to buy for because he has no hobbies or things he likes to do! And he asks me, the woman who tries her hand at every hobby known to man, has definite likes and dislikes, and is so easy to buy for that the issue is hilarious!

He gets me coffee.

COFFEE!?

Granted, it's lots of different flavors, and I'll drink them alone--because he doesn't like to drink flavored coffee. So, in a way, he was thinking about things I like--which is one thing, but I didn't ask for coffee (at least not as my main gift, since we won't be able to share it together)--I asked for a remote car starter. I asked for dinner out every weekend for the next year.

I didn't even get a gift certificate.

To his credit, he took me, my mom and son out to dinner at the Chinese place for my birthday, but even my family seems to have forgotten that it's my birthday!! I asked for pie--did I get pie? No pie. No cake even! But I didn't want cake--I wanted pie!

So here I am at 5:30pm feeling really sorry for myself. So I bake myself a cake. And by golly, I'm gonna eat it too!

I spent hours and hours knitting for my son. He wore one of the sweater vests to dinner...the one that was the coolest--the one with the Martian on the front--but he couldn't even make me a cookie! I am really frustrated. Here it is, my 50th birthday! My husband's family threw him a big party for his 50th birthday! I didn't even get one of those party favors that you blow on and it makes a noise.

My mom made me some doilies. She's great about that. But I really wanted PIE! I ate too much at dinner--made me sleepy, so I went back home and right to nap instead of staying a while and visiting, but last time we went for a visit, we got into a big fight, and I didn't want us to get into any fights--not on my 50th birthday, and since so far things were relatively okay--but now, I'm pretty disappointed. I was sure that my husband would really take care of things--instead, he offers my services up as a manual laborer!

So what part of the word "vacation" didn't you understand?

Next year, I'm saving for a cruise...and I'm going ALONE, because that's how I feel. Too bad for all you suckheads--they even forgot me at work!

I can't believe it.. MY 50th BIRTHDAY. You don't hit 50 every year, ya know?

Jesus.

I'm 50.

Worse.

I'm 50 and nobody gives a damn. Sheesh. Guess I'll go over here ----->
and eat some worms.