Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Stuck in the mud

Today’s card: The three of Wands.

Here’s a fellow, looking out over the waterway (could be a large lake, small ocean, or just a wide river), which appears to be a haven for vacationers (sailboats and canoes), but also a method of commerce and trade (ferry and tug). He, of course, is on shore. I think he missed the boat, frankly, and now he’s watching it “pass on to bigger waters”. The card actually means thinking ahead—or having foresight. It stands for leadership and being in for the long haul. It could also mean a trip over water.

OH! I’m going on a cruise? Fat chance that will happen!

Of course, you might know, I pulled the card in reversed position, which means I’m feeling a little stuck—and this is true. Stuck on land, unable to fly. I don’t seem to be able to get anywhere these last couple of weeks. Even sock knitting has become something of a chore. The only GOOD thing about this feeling is that once it hits bottom, there is only one direction left to go—up.

All I can think of is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), because it makes you…well…SAD! It happens to folks like me in the North country—the sky goes a little grayer every day, there’s snow (four letter word) in the forecast—or worse, snow showers, and it gets colder every day. Winter is my least favorite time of year. Actually, I don’t like either of the extremes in Michigan. I like spring for the green grass and new leaves on the trees. I like autumn for the colorful maple trees. But once the leaves have hit the ground, it seems like I hit the ground too.

So, I need to come up with hints of something new to do that will make my whole outlook sparkle. I’ve already done my coif and had a manicure. A pedicure sounds good, but I wonder if I have enough in my budget to allow it. There I go…the “but” queen! I could head over to the coffeeshop and have another of those wonderful cups of coffee with caramel and white chocolate, like I had yesterday. That was a wonderful change of pace, and tasty too! And as much as I’d like to do that, I don’t want to do it again TODAY. Maybe that can be a Friday treat.

This morning, I parked in the lot beside where I work, and I might take it at lunch time and just go somewhere, but WHERE I’ll go, well, that’s another story. When I get in this “blue funk”, even shopping for yarn doesn’t help. It’s like I’ve overloaded on life, and now, I’m coming down the other side of the hill. A change of pace and direction is needed, but I’m so stuck, I have no idea which way to go. Up is the only way that sounds good.

Can I blame this on my ex-husband? Yes, I can! Later in the afternoon, I decided to head over to the nursing home to see my ex-mother-in-law—it has, after all, been over a week since I last went to see her. He had spirited her away for a couple of days. Well, at least she gets to see her cat, and I’m glad for that because she misses her cat a lot! The thoughtless part of it is that it costs $200 a day to take her out of the nursing home for overnights, and this will seriously put a cramp on her holiday time! What with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming in less than 60 days! She really doesn’t have the money to go visiting on overnights—so even thought it’s none of my business, I still wonder how my ex is going to pay for it. He’s never been one to save money of any kind for such purposes, and I hope that he doesn’t expect his poor mother or the rest of the family to pay for his thoughtlessness.

On a good note:
Our house is getting new facings—or a face lift, if you will. Soon, we’ll get new gutters. So far, the house looks quite nice. The new gutters will complete the outside the house repairs. From there, we’re going to work on the INSIDE again—this time, the downstairs. There is a ton of work to be done down there, along with a bunch of things to be “tossed out”. My old computer is down there, and all of my fabric and sewing supplies…along with 3 sewing machines. One is a treadle, one is a featherweight and one is a Montgomery Ward heavy duty cog machine with several elaborate stitches which are made by switching the cog in the top of the machine. In short, working on the downstairs is going to be a major effort, and not one that I’m looking forward to. There are still many small jobs that could be completed upstairs…for instance staining the bay window—but that’s another story.

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